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Pastries On DVD - Starring The Legendary Uschi Digart
Pastries On DVD - Starring The Legendary Uschi Digart
Pastries is comedy-farce, coupled with explicit sexual experiences designed for erotice excitement and pleasure.
Pastries is comedy-
Pastries is one of the biggest orgasmistic films ever made.
Pastries is a motion picture with a cast of very beautiful people, all free of sexual inhibitions.
They let is hang up, as well as out.
Pastries is Ushi Digart at her very best.
Ushi puts on everyone.
Reality becomes fantasy and fantasy becomes reality as one explicit sexual scene follows another, and another, and another.
Starring: Barbara Mills, John Keith, John Paul Jones, Judy Angel, Maria Arnold, Mindy Brandt, Mycle Brandy, Norman Field, Ron Darby, Sandi Carey, Sandy Dempsey, Uschi Digart
Starring: Barbara Mills, John Keith, John Paul Jones, Judy Angel, Maria Arnold, Mindy Brandt, Mycle Brandy, Norman Field, Ron Darby, Sandi Carey, Sandy Dempsey, Uschi Digart
Directed By: Pat Robertson
Studio: VCX Studio
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Pastries On DVD - Starring The Legendary Uschi Digart
Pastries On DVD - Starring The Legendary Uschi Digart
Pastries, Starring Uschi Digart is a comedy-
At first glance Pastries, Starring Uschi Digart (a.k.a. A Touch of Sweden) seems like a cheeky take on Uschi Digard's rise and rise in the sexploitation film world. Footage of Uschi Digart getting off a plane and some Swedish travelogue introduce the film's wraparound story that has a vacationing Uschi telling a Swedish friend about American culture and more importantly her adventures in Hollywood. And how did Uschi get noticed in Hollywood? Simply by doing a spot of hitch hiking, naturally she doesn't have long to wait before the screech of brakes, and a smile from a man who claims to know a film producer. With blunt hilarity Uschi tells him "I'm going to be an actress….I'm going to make allot of money". Unfortunately for Uschi the film she gets involved with isn't exactly a top-drawer affair, which seems appropriate as neither is Pastries itself.
An early sex comedy from Joseph F. Robertson, who began in B-movie horrors (he produced The Slime People in 1964), before embarking on a four decade long career in porno. Robertson's early productions were its fair to say technically rough affairs, even seen on pristine DVD his Pretty Models All in a Row (a.k.a. The Photographer) still looks like excerpts from a suburban swingers' dirty home movie than a real film. In what for all the world must be an in-joke the cheapskate director of the film within a film in Pastries tells Uschi "I'm using 8mm because I'm trying to save money on film." Uschi is not impressed.
Pastries, Starring Uschi Digart somehow manages to be both horrendous and fascinating at the same time, there is barely any sense of continuity (in one scene Uschi is a budding Hollywood starlet in the next she's working as a nurse, and its never clear if the film is meant to be set in a hotel or a hospital) and the abrupt editing generally chops off scenes in mid sentence. All of which coupled with relentless cutting to and throw between various unconnected story lines, creates the impression of someone madly channel surfing between three different films. Originally the film looks to have been shot largely soft core with only the 'Rocky Incognito' segment tentatively venturing into hardcore, on top of which hardcore inserts have been added later. These include some traditional attempts at making the new hard footage match up with the soft, often though hardcore footage is cut into the film without any rhyme or reason, it simply appears, often right in the middle of scenes. Curiouser still is the use of hardcore inserts on an almost subliminal level, as if visualizing any amorous thoughts that were forming to the back of the audiences minds, a nice shot of Uschi's cleavage, cue quick flash of hardcore, a shot of Uschi suggestively eating a banana cue predicable flash of hardcore fellatio, etc, etc.
There are hints of a zany, MAD magazine type sense of humour at work here, thinking especially of the scene where the doctors have a game of darts in the middle of performing surgery, and if the film gets nothing else right it does give the great Uschi more than her usual allocated amount of screen time, and despite her heavy accent, quite allot of dialogue to boot. Whether she's seducing a shell shocked soldier or a nervous photographer with a jealous wife, avoiding Count Dracula, or stripping in a public phone box much to the bemusement of a down and out wino (director Robertson himself), her scenes register as far more naturally sexy than the grainy, recycled porn footage that surrounds them. Just don't be surprised if after the film expiries around the hour mark, your left shaking your head and asking "what on earth was that all about".
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